Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: Welcome to Roots of Faith, the podcast where we journey through scripture to build a strong foundation in Christ. Today, we dive into a profound truth from Ephesians 5, a passage often misunderstood, yet rich with wisdom. Did you know that your marriage is preaching a sermon? Whether faithfulness or disunity, sacrificial love or self centeredness, your relationship is speaking to the world about Christ and his church. But what if submission and sacrificial love weren't burdens, but blessings? What if marriage at its core core wasn't about who's in charge, but about reflecting the gospel. Join me as we uncover the beauty of biblical submission, the weight of Christlike love, and the ultimate call for every believer to align our lives under the headship of Jesus. Let's open God's Word together and see how our relationships can be a living testimony of the Gospel.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Worship.
This morning we're coming to the actual end of chapter five of the book of Ephesians.
And I said it last week, I'm treading into dangerous territory because Ephesians 5:22 begins with the statement wives submit to your husbands.
Then it says as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior.
Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything very debated passage.
And what if I told you that every marriage between practicing Christians now notice what I was saying. Practicing Christians, even yours is preaching a sermon, but you never knew you were a preacher.
Some are preaching faithfulness, some marriages are preaching disunity, some are showing Christ's love, others something far from it.
But whether we realize it or not, our marriages are speaking.
And the question is, what is your marriage saying? What's it preaching?
And this truth, you know this is not a sermon about marriage per se, and you know the hints about how to have a good marriage, but rather it applies to every Christian because marriage in this passage talks about the relationship of Christ and the church and how the Christian is relating to the headship of Christ.
So today as we look through these verses from verse 22 to verse 33, it's really one of the most beautiful passages in scripture.
So before you ladies and guys, be careful when you say this to your wife.
Don't get upset with the word submit before you brace yourself the word submit or settle in thinking that this is about your spouse's role. Guys, let me challenge you for a minute because this passage isn't about winning the battle of who's in charge.
It's about reflecting the gospel in a relationship.
So what if your marriage could be transformed into a living testimony of Christ, a living testimony of Christ's love?
What if submission and sacrificial love weren't burdens, but blessings?
Okay, stay with me. We're going to work through this.
Because that foundation of submission is a biblical foundation.
And when it says wives, submit to your husbands, it adds immediately as to the Lord.
Submission is one of the most misunderstood words in scripture.
When we ran a wedding and event facility, I can't tell you how many couples the gal would say, can you please remove the word submit from the wedding vows?
Or when they wrote, they said, can I leave that part out?
The problem is that they had become uncomfortable with the idea of submission.
And if you only look at those first three verses from 22 to 24 and get stuck there, the problem is that they don't look at the next seven verses that provide more responsibility on the husband in that relationship.
People react negatively to the idea of submission because they think or assume that it means inferiority or blind obedience.
But that's not biblical submission.
The word actually means to put something in order. It's used as a Greek military term that when the soldier was told to submit, he was to submit to the leader.
He was putting himself in order under the leadership and placing his trust in the leader.
So it's not for the believer. And when you apply it as an individual believer, because we are supposed to submit to God.
That's what it said in the last verse we looked at last week, that believers are to be submitting to the Lord.
It means that we're to be trusting God's design and it's not diminishing our worth.
Scripture very clearly says we're worth more to the Lord.
But submission is not a one sided command. It is actually that verse and that word submit, there is actually a command in the original language, but it's not a command to term against, to go against.
It's understanding that we're putting our lives in order under the person who is supposed to be responsible to the Lord.
That's what that passage means. That's why the next seven verses after this all focus that the husband is supposed to be submitting to the Lord. It actually changes the word.
The next command in those verses is that the husband is to hear and obey.
It actually is literally translated, listen under.
When you have children and they are rattling your cage and they're young, don't you often want to sit there and say, listen to Me, listen up.
I had to laugh at my daughter in law because the kids were all in the house.
And with six kids rattling around from teenagers to a three year old, it gets to be a bit chaotic.
And so we were talking about they were supposed to come down for birthday Saturday and we all decided no, we weren't going anywhere yesterday, especially not them down from Halifax.
And so my one daughter proposed, well, why don't you just build a tunnel all the way?
And I said, well that's a good idea for my grandson. Get Caleb on that right away. His mother said, good, I think I will.
He was being a bit, oh I'll use a big word, ostreperous.
What's that mean? I don't know, means he's being ornery.
But you see, submission is not one sided. It calls all believers to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. That's what Ephesians 5:21 says.
And it says many Christians struggle with this, believing that they're in full control of their lives.
I'm the one that's doing this.
When in reality we should be seeking God's will in true submission, whether in marriage or as an individual. It means aligning our will with God's will and trusting his leadership rather than our own.
How easy it, how easy is it for us to sit there and say, look, I don't see you moving right now. I'm going to take control, I'm going to get this done.
When in reality the Lord wants us to wait on him.
Many, many years ago, more than I care to think about, I sat down with missionaries that I had known growing up and I sat down with Roy and Lydia and I said, how do you know God's will?
How did you know God's will to go to Africa?
And I don't remember whether it was Roy or Lydia that said, well, rather than discussing their thoughts prematurely, they decided that they would individually pray about the Lord's will.
And so they did. And what they had decided to do is that when they were confident in their own hearts before the Lord, they had that peace that they would write down what they felt the Lord was leading them to. They would put it in an envelope and they put it under the carpet.
And then when they both had put their envelopes under the carpet, they would then pull them out together and open up the answers.
And when they opened them up together, they found the answers were exactly the same. Go to Africa.
Now their story is a beautiful example of mutual submission to the Lord, not merely to each other. But to God, they didn't rely on pressure, persuasion, personal ambition.
They trusted that as they sought the Lord separately, he would bring them into alignment, into agreement, into submission.
A strong marriage and a strong Christian walk begins with this kind of surrender.
Whether in decisions big or small, we have to ask, are we submitting our desires to God and trusting his leadership?
If submission is the wife's calling, what's the husband's?
That goes to verse 25:25 says, husbands love your wives.
It's a love that is commended of the husband.
Oh, I can tell you that when I was preparing this sermon, Cindy will shoot me for saying this, but I had to go to my wife and I said, I want to apologize.
Because the Lord even convicted me. Not even he did convict me of how I should be a better husband to my wife.
Because my responsibility is to love my wife.
Just as. Here's the equation, guys, take notice of this. The equation is heavy on your side because it says, just as Christ loved the church and he gave himself for her.
Reminds me of the verse, greater love hath no man than this that he gave his life.
That's a heavy responsibility, guys, for a believer's marriage, but it's a greater responsibility when you realize that as individual Christians, we are to be submitting to the headship of Jesus Christ.
Paul shifts the entire focus.
He says, if a wife is called to submit, then the husband's called to love.
Not with fleeting emotion, but with a deep, selfless, serving love.
That's that expanded translation there for the word agape or agapao in Greek.
And that is actually the very definition of agape love.
It is a deep, selfless, serving love, the kind of love Christ demonstrated when he gave himself for the church.
The standard for a husband's love is not culture.
It's not personal preference or convenience.
It's Christ's love.
And his love is sacrificial, sanctifying and steadfast.
Guys, we've got a steep checklist and believer we're to be submitting because Christ is that to us as individuals.
It's not just spoken how many times I do this myself, you're going out the door. And what's the husband say to the wife is going out the door, love you.
Or we sign off, you know, on the phone, love you.
Christ never talks to us and says, love you.
His love is steadfast, unmoving, abounding.
And so, just as Christ laid down his life, a husband has to prioritize his wife's needs above his own. That was the most convicting.
And that leads in a life where humility, patience and grace has to be given as well.
But I want to remind you that agape love is not just emotion.
When Jesus was having his conversation with Peter In John chapter 21, three times Jesus asks Peter, do you love me? He used the word agape or agapa.
He says, do you love me with an agape love?
And Peter turned around and Peter replied deeply, emotionally responds with the strong personal affection. He said, lord, you know I love you. And he used the word phileo.
And that's a deep personal love.
But Jesus was calling him to a love that demonstrates selflessness and serving.
It's not enough to just sit there and emotionally say, I love Jesus.
It's saying, I love you Lord, and I want to serve you.
So this applies not only to husbands, but to every believer.
Too often we settle for emotional response. And we do it as we go through the ritual of a week. And we say, okay, I'm going to come and I'm going to love Jesus on Sunday.
I'm going to give you an hour, I'm going to give you two hours, I'm going to give you a couple hours on Sunday. And then through the rest of the week, it's an afterthought. I'm not saying we forget about him, but it kind of becomes an afterthought.
But what we settle for is that emotion rather than the active serving love he calls us to.
Love that remains only emotional, without sacrifice, without service, is incomplete.
I won't say it's totally empty.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: But.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: It becomes something that doesn't fulfill totally.
I will confess to you that one of my downfalls is I do not pay enough attention to my wife. At times I would much rather be in my office digging through Greek or Hebrew so that I can grow.
And that's one of the things that I had to go and confess to her that I'm not doing the job that I want to.
So it says, husbands, you're to love your wife.
The big word would be transformational.
What's that mean?
It means that your love for your wife is to be leading her to flourish spiritually.
Now let me ask you, do your words to those of you who are married, do your words to your wife nourish her soul?
Do your actions reflect a self denying love for her and for Christ?
Goes back to that first question.
What is the testimony of your marriage? Preaching for all believers is God's word consistently. And this is what Paul brings out in those seven verses. He says, for the believer. Is God's word consistently flowing through your heart, transforming your love for others?
Are you actively living out love in service to Christ and to those around you?
That's what's demanded.
But why does Paul make that comparison?
Why does Paul say marriage is like Christ and the church?
Because marriage is more than a relationship.
My relationship to the Lord is not an on Sunday walking by and saying, love you.
But it is a personal relationship and a reflection of the good news of the Gospel that Jesus Christ gave himself for us.
Paul presents a profound truth here, that marriage is a living sermon.
And your relationship to the Lord with Christ as the head is a living sermon, whether you like it or not. You're a preacher.
You may not have gone to seminary, you may not have gone to Bible college, but you have heard the Word of God, you've been taught, and the Word of God has taken root in your life. You are a living sermon.
The union of husband and wife reflects the unity of Christ in his church. And just as the church is devoted to Christ, so the wife is to her husband. Just as Christ is faithful to his bride, so a husband is to love his wife with unwavering commitment.
Your marriage is preaching something to the world as individuals. Our marriage to the Lord is preaching something.
Would you want a husband or a wife, one hour a week?
Would that be very satisfying relationship?
No, I don't think so. Don't think that marriage would last long.
So what is your marriage to your husband or to your wife? Your marriage to Christ?
Preaching.
Preaching to the world that sees you.
Not too long ago, I was reading a story about a woman and her husband who came from Iran and they were living in Jerusalem.
They were Muslim, but they got to know through her husband's work.
A Christian family.
Over the period of time, as they met together, as they enjoyed being neighbors and so forth, they both, both the husband and wife, the Muslim couple said, we really want to know what your marriage is about. Their marriage of that Christian couple preached the gospel.
And it wasn't long after they started asking those questions that the Lord spoke to their hearts and they accepted Jesus Christ as personal savior.
Would your life and testimony preach that same gospel?
Does it reveal the love of Christ?
Does it reflect selflessness or selfishness?
Unity or disunity?
Pride or submission?
Paul doesn't give commands just for the sake of giving commands.
What he does is he provides a framework for our application.
Here's how we're to live this out.
In the case of wives, submission is the act of trust in Christ.
It's not bowing down and kissing the feet of your husband.
They probably are too stinky anyway and you want them to wash his socks.
But rather your relationship in your marriage is to be supporting, encouraging, respecting your husband as the church does Christ.
For husbands, love is sacrificial leadership.
It's about cherishing, nurturing, prioritizing your wife's spiritual well being above your own.
And in this same picture, Paul says to us through the Spirit of God that the relationship of a believer to Christ is to be one of submission and sacrificial love applied to all our relationships.
So the question comes are you submitting your will to Christ?
Are you loving others with a selfless love of Christ?
You know folks, marriage is not a power struggle for who's in charge.
It's about the Gospel display.
And I want to remind you this hit me when I was thinking about this before you decide that you're grumpy with your spouse, maybe he's not taking the trash out. Maybe he's not cleaning the toilet.
That's a terrible one.
But you know what?
Before you go pointing fingers at a spouse that you think isn't doing his job or her job, examine your own heart.
And when you're doing that, are we portraying the love and submission that we find written here in Ephesians chapter 5?
I want to remind you of something that in the communion service when we come to communion, one of the first things I always try to read and suggest is what Paul wrote in First Corinthians 11, verses 27 to 29 as a warning for believers before going into communion.
Now would you say that marriage is a communion with one another?
Yes, it is.
So how much more so does the relationship between the believer to Christ in communion as we celebrate it together in remembrance of Him?
That warning in verses 27 to 29 applies. Think about this. That warning says so then, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unbe worthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord.
Wow.
Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat the bread and drink from the cup. For these who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ, eat and drink, listen, eat and drink judgment on themselves.
There is a communion between husband and wife.
There is a communion with us as individual believers with Christ, and we ought to check it frequently.
Husbands, are you loving as Christ loved the church?
Wives, are you aligning your life in submission with Christ's design and then to the headship, the responsibility. That doesn't mean you can't encourage him to take the headship.
All believers, are you reflecting the beauty of the Gospel in your relationships so that your life is a living sermon?
Let me suggest something real quick as we close married couples to take action on this. Maybe you should set aside time this week to pray together for your marriage.
Ask your spouse, how can I love and serve you better?
When I wrote that, that's one of the reasons why I went to my wife and finally commit to one act of sacrificial love or submission that reflects Christ's example.
By the way, that does not get you out of buying roses last Friday, this past Friday.
For individual believers, are you submitting to Christ in your daily life?
How can you demonstrate sacrificial love in your relationships?
And I'm going to challenge you as individuals for this because it is part of being the body of Christ.
I'm going to challenge each of us to pray for the marriages in our church to reflect the Gospel faithfully.
You know, I thought many times, and I'm closing now, that it would be very appropriate to do an altar call.
And if I were giving an altar call right now, what I'd say, looking at marriage married couples here, are you challenged to serve the Lord right now, to serve him as a testimony and sermon in your marriage?
As individuals, are you challenged to move past that emotional love of saying, love you Lord, to the place of that serious, deep, selfless serving?
I'm not going to ask you to walk forward, but if that's your heart, then I beg you to submit in prayer to the Lord today.
And if you want to talk about any of this, call me.
So today, what is your relationship in your marriage to your spouse, to Christ, that you might serve Him?
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Roots of Faith, a ministry of Lawn Evangelical Congregational Church in Lawn, Pennsylvania. We hope today's message has uplifted you and deepened your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Remember, whether you're new in the faith or have walked with him for years, God's Word is always fresh and powerful to transform. If you are blessed by this episode, please share it with friends and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an update. We would love for you to join us on Sunday at 10:30am at 5566 Elizabethtown Road, Route 241 in Lawn, Pennsylvania. As always, stay rooted in the Word, stand firm in faith and keep growing in Christ.
